Slow progress

Having inserted new scenes into my work-in-progress, I'm back to the beaten path this week, and more traditional editing.  It's difficult, as I feel that I've lost the thread of the story to some extent.  The task looks Herculean from this angle - how many edits will it need? I read somewhere to think of this as the structural rewrite, though, so I'm trying not to become too fixated this time on my language, or cutting too much out.

I'm afraid there'll be a visible join, though. Just as a lizard can regrow it's tail, but it's never such a good fit, I wonder if the additional scenes will appear to be slightly wonky. I suppose, what I'm learning for next time (and I mean, the next novel, not the next edit) is that I might need to have a stronger plot before I start. I've already learnt such a lot about creating more conflict and not being too kind to the character you cherish.  Applying this knowledge half-way through feels like patching up, but next time, I'll know how to start more strongly.

I'm feeling invigorating by this attitude of being on a journey, and only near the start of it.  It's making me less critical of myself, and, for the moment, less anxious that this project should succeed in the way I did.  A little success would do me proud, for now;  I can see that I have so much to learn, and that practising will improve my abilities, so if it takes five or six books before I taste the sort of success I'd like, then so be it. I'll just need to stock up on patience and some self-belief.

Who am I kidding? Course I want success with this.  So much love and work is going into it.  But I can see the big picture, at least, and see that it is only a start.

So, back to the computer screen, and trying to hide the seams of the story.